Recently, God has really been challenging so much of my understanding of what I know (or thought I know) of Him. Just with the coming of Landa Cope and other revelations GOd is showing me during personal times with Him, I’m getting so excited. I was aware of the plateau-ing of growth I’ve been feeling at DTS so I just wanted to press in further to combat any feeling of complacency. Anyways, I have much to write but little time to share. Basically, God has shown me to a deeper extent of how to KNOW God, and it is a balance of prayer & worship & Bible reading. However, even so with that, it is a balance of community time with that as well because to know and see God, God’s characteristics are in each of us and knowing and interacting with others unlike us, is seeing another aspect of God we don’t get out of times of simply prayer & the Word as well. Just a thought for now. More to elaborate later!

 

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When I reread what I wrote, it really just sounds like nothing and I think that’s why people’s revelations are truly your own revelations because God knows you so perfectly and He knows what you need to be shaken with. So to elaborate further because this really has little meaning without a deeper understanding and analysis of myself, I come to realize just how much I am such a concrete thinker and not much of a lover of the abstract. Not to say that I like boxes and circles with no color outside the lines. But there is a limit of abstract that people are comfortable with. I like Salvador Dali art, it has just enough abstract and just enough concrete to give me something to work and start with. A slightly rhombus canvas painted blue gives me nothing to work with and I just end with the thought that the artist is a loser. Basic thinking in my head. I have a hard time grasping the dichotomous characteristic traits found in God because in able to help me grasp how to even be in the likeness of God, I want to know what type of qualities I would see in God himself or would be pleased to see in a “godly” person. Therefore, when I find what I would expect to be a “godly” person possess qualities which I would not expect to find in a person that I instead should think to find fruit of the spirit, my brain kind of went into shutdown mode in terms of wanting to receive information from this “godly” person. I was just so aggravated by her personality that I just was not allowing any of the information she was sharing to enter my head but I did write it down. You know how when you’re annoyed with someone or mad at something, you don’t want to give them any recognition? Even though she was probably dishing a lot of good stuff, I just didn’t want to give her any praise for her teaching, though I heard others just like marveling at how rich the teaching was each day. I mean I’m not just saying the usual small personality nuances. This is a big obvious thing with this speaker and many people were having the same reaction not just myself. But after the 3rd day of teaching from her, I realize how arrogant I was to think that I knew what a “godly” person should be like or even to define what the nine qualities of fruit from the spirit even looks like. I think of them the way I think of them because of my own tacit values that I developed from my upbringing from birth until now. However, God never said those were correct and God never said those of other cultures were correct. God’s traits are exemplified in all characteristics of people, (only the good ones of course, however God defines what “good” is) but definitely none that are unloving. Anyways so I had to surrender that. Basically I realized and was humbled that I don’t know much of God at all and if I ever think I do, I am clearly wrong. Landa Cope really opened my eyes and then God reinforced it when she said we need to go from unconsiously incompetency to consciously incompetency. I am glad God really pointed it out to me in my life but I just hope that God will continually reinforce that and I will not forget it. I find myself easily thinking more highly when I begin to think I know more of the Bible and things like that. But when it comes to it all, I know nothing and need to remain in that position in order to be teachable in anything.

1 Corinthians 8:2 – The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know.

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Anyways, I’m just learning so much good stuff about just…everything. I want to explode with all this information back home. It’s just so good. I wish everyone could know. Wisdom from God is truly gold, better than gold. Priceless.

Hey everyone,

I wanted to share another update of what’s been going on here at DTS and all the awesome insights I have been learning. I am really loving it here and am so thankful that I have this opportunity in my life to soak all of this in right now and just learn more about God and who He truly is. I feel like I have missed the mark on so many things so I’m so thankful that I have removing many of the misconceptions I may have had or just reinforcing things I already knew. I just feel like there’s so much goodies packed into each week, so I just want to share all the great revelations I’ve been getting. All of it is just so good! It can be a lot so hopefully it doesn’t just bombard you all with info.

Last week we learned a lot about identity, taking ourselves, our personalities, how society has stereotyped or identified us to be and act and removing that and breaking out of that box. Our identity is not defined by our looks or our occupation. We are also more than just our heritage. Yes, our families may come from a specific nation but our personal identities are created as we subconsciously take pieces of what we like from other people and other cultures and we begin to find that in ourselves and express ourselves with elements of those things. So we are constantly adding to our identity as we are exposed to more things and more people, we shape our identity. Similarly, we are constantly changing over time and as we age. We are not people defined as a certain “group” in society but we are more than that and each of us are unique because God created a specific personality in each of us, not by mistake and not to be carbon-copies of each other either. When we pursue Christ and He meets us, since He knows us and was the one that created us, we will know more of ourselves.

My parents are from Taiwan but I was born and grew up in the US. However, aspects from both cultures have become my own unique identity. I think for many times, I have grown up a bit confused about my identity, feeling like I had to choose to be more closely related to my Chinese heritage or to my American roots, when in actuality I feel like I am a part of neither. However, there is no need to choose one or the other because the dichotomy of both cultures is the identity that I am today. When I travel to other countries, I pick up on other things that I admire and it can become integral to me as well. And as I continue to meet more people and see more things I pick up on more and am constantly adding to my identity and bringing greater dimension and undersatnding more of what my identity is as God had craeted it to be. Similarly, God has imparted specific characteristics in different cultures of the world. Our speaker brought a really interesting point in that when we bring Christians from all nations together, and worship in all languages, praise in all languages and styles, the many characteristics of God would be seen in that and we would have a more true image of what God and his personality truly is like. We cannot continue to box God in as seeming to look and act a certain way. The perception of Christianity in the world has been so skewed and broken throughout history that it is nowhere near what God had intended it to be when truly unadulerated. We as Christians need to restore God’s image. That is really relevant as I go on outreach and as we present a certain style of worship/praise to a different culture.

A few other points that I thought were just great insights were:

-When comparing some of the teachings of Christianity with other philosophies or religions, this is how one speaker represented it:

Jesus:

Honor elders –> Honor parents –> Motivation –> Love –> Relationship

Confucius/Other philosophies or religions:

Honor elders –> Honor parents –> Motivation –> Fear and Control

The opposite of love is fear. (Not hate, not indifference, etc.) Sometimes I have trouble understanding that but I think of it as such: Christians believe that God is love. If hate were the opposite of love, then God could not hate. But in the Bible it says clearly that God hates, He hates sin. If love and hate can exist together than they are not the opposites. Also, indifference to me is simply the absence of love, not necessarily the opposite of love. Instead, as it says in 1 John 4:18, perfect love casts out fear. This idea that fear was the opposite of love gave me a whole different perspective. One Muslim lady that our speaker Derek met when told that the opposite of love is fear came to this conclusion:

Families are the first place where we learn to experience love. However, if we grew up in a household that instilled a sense of fear, we can begin to associate love with fear and lace the two together. With that it makes it more difficult to love others and for others to love you.

-God rarely comes down to our level himself to talk to non-believers because they would drop dead, faint, or who knows what. God uses Christians, or physical more tangible things in the world to profess who He is. Through Christians, the Holy Spirit can do miraculous things but we are to be His hands and feet and if we don’t go, it really limits God’s ability to reach out. He therefore has called us as Christians to go.

-One of the points during a message was from Luke 10: 38-41 and I thought this was a graet point that all Christians should be reminded of. In the story, Martha was distracted by serving God. The works of God had distracted her from the face of Jesus. Christ only desires one thing and that one thing is time with us. Jesus is not calling Martha out of service but He is calling her out ofdistraction. We can serve in church or however else we may serve God in our lives, but if we are serving and set our eyes more on the service and not on who we are serving, it has become a distraction instead of its intended purpose.

-God is SOO much less concerned with what we do for Him as he is just us getting to know Him and spend time with him. That is the simple desire of God’s heart, to have a relationship with you. That’s it. No strings attached. Matthew 7:21-23 is a sobering verse because it really emphasizes that we need to spend time to just be with him in prayer, in our mind, and our hearts. That is something that I think has really been convicting me lately. I am learning to be more open with God in my prayer times, to be more vulnerable, more honest in my prayers–not any of the boring simple prayers but true prayer that come from the heart and expresses the most intimate crevices of my heart. God knows when you give him a 10% prayer versus a 100% prayer.

-My mind has really just been opened a lot more about recognizing God’s voice. Back at home and just attending church, it never came across to me that all Christians could hear the voice of God. I truly only beleived that only “very spiritual” people heard from God. However, that is such a lie. We as Christians are CALLED to recognize God’s voice (something I am still working on) as it says in John 10: 27. “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” However, we have probably heard God’s voice but simply not recognized it many times. Neverthless, it is something we need to practice, as the Holy Spirit guides us in all aspects of our lives. One of our speakers, Joseph, a graphic designer, said that as he was praying about one of the projects for a client and what to bring to the table, the Holy Spirit told him to make a logo design for the client even though it was not something the client had asked for. However, when it came time to deliver the final product, he showed the client what it was they had originally asked for and kept the logo secret in case he had heard the Holy Spirit wrong. The client after reviewing the product said he thought they were missing a logo and asked our speaker to create one. The speaker then said he wouldn’t make one because he had already created it. And the design ended up being exactly what the client was looking for.

Joseph also asks the Holy Spirit for guidance when he cooks. It really gave me a new perspective on applying God/Christ/Holy Spirit in our life and taking Him out of the box that we have trapped our view of God to be.

Anyways, sorry for that email! It’s just so refreshing to hear all of the different insights we have been learning here at DTS. The experience has just been so refreshing and it is so good to be in an environment where people love God and to also catch some of the fire they have for God. I also have many stories to share of God just showing up and revealing Himself to people here in downtown Kona, but the email would just be way too incredibly long!

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FIJI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m going there for OUTREACH!! YEEEEEEAHHHH!!!! First when the leaders called out the final teams, I was honestly a little bummed that God somehow didn’t put me with the Tonga-China team, but it’s really been sitting well with me. And also my TEAM IS AWESOME! I am SO EXCITED!!!!!

I have been so busy the past few weeks with work duties on the weekends. This past weekend we went up to a YWAM base an hour north of the Kona campus at this place called Makapalo and helped out there. We did a bunch of yard work and cleaning around the property, it was a LOT of work. One woman that lived there asked who was up for an extreme scrubbing job. Me and this other girl looked at each other and asked what it was first. She said it was cleaning a freezer, so I thought oh! no biggie. Freezers get gross but they’re not like that bad if you start taking things out and sorting through I thought. Later, me and the other girl Becca go to clean it with the lady, and she tells us it’s the freezer that has been out of order for a while. It’s actually a walk-in freezer and some of the men would hunt and bring back the meat and store it in this freezer. So THEN we both got freaked out because we thought there would be a hanging carcass in the freezer but the lady said it was completely empty and just needed to be scrubbed down and disinfected. That was pretty disgusting but thankfully it’s not like you see blood everywhere. It just looks like brown dirt in certain spots but when you clean it, it does have a bit of a different…feeling. x( Yeah that made my stomach queasy and grossed out. We definitely had the smell of that room left on us after we were done. Anyways! That was an experience but good to stretch us for whatever might come our way during outreach. The buildings at the site were quite old and I was getting a little freaked out at night (I blame it on scary movies). However, the area was really beautiful and there was a lot of vegetation and BEAUTIFUL scenic spots near the area that we were able to stay for a short time and take pictures. We went to the “Lookout Point,” I’m not sure if that’s the name, and it was an ariel view of a beautiful lush valley on one side and black sand beach on the other. It was the first time we got to see this side of Hawaii since Kona is so dry and it was just such a gorgeous sight. I wish we had more time to explore.

Last week we had some time with a speaker named Dave Gibbons who has a teaching-style very much applicable to corporate business-like settings. One of the main points he spoke about was how God is able to take past pains and hurts from our lives to use for positive purposes so that we can help others. There came a time one night for praying and healing, and I think God was really bringing back a lot of my childhood memories from growing up that had always weighed down in my heart and He brought those to light. I asked for prayers in those areas and really felt my heart lifted afterwards. I can’t put my finger on it but to give it a figurative sense, it’s like allowing water to rinse the gunk that’s super hard to get off from the bottom of a cup out once and for all. Everything just feels much cleaner, fresher, and vibrant. =)

This week we have an amazing amazing speaker named Joseph Avakian who will be teaching about Identity & Worldview. It’s only been the first day with him but he is has brought us to tears laughing and talks much like a comedian, bringing so much truth and perspective to us already.

Today we also got our outreach locations, but it does seem like the leaders are praying for confirmation more and seeing if God has several additional locations set out for us. Here is the list so far:

-Tonga
-Fiji
-China
-American Samoa
-Samoa
-Philippines

I will praying for where God is leading me to go for outreach!

Man…DTS is no joke. I guess half of me was expecting a great vacation-like experience focused on just me and God and mannggggg is it DIFFICULT. I have still not gotten over the “Fasting” of car, fast internet, good food, tv, air conditioning, and basically PHONE just because the time difference is 6 hours difference and I keep missing opportunities to phone home because of my schedule. There is homework that I do not want to do. There is work duty some weekends and I still have not completely adjusted and OK-ed this hot humid climate. When things are tough, all of these things just get worse and more intense. But I know the largest hurdle is usually the last hurdle before I forget about the luxuries that I miss and before I realize that the climate isn’t that bad. Just the amount of exercise I’ve been getting is ridiculous and I am getting way too tan for my taste. There’s like nothing to do at nights so I’ve been playing so much volleyball which is AWESOME but it can be so hot to play during the day. Otherwise I get sooo bored with this type of lifestyle and I just don’t know what to do with myself! We live in such a “DISTRACT-ME” society. If i’m not doing something or entertaining myself in some way, I am DISPLEASED. So need to get over that and I know DTS is perfect for that. It’s just difficult.

Of ALL THINGS, I MISS AIR CONDITIONING THE MOST. (After loved ones of course.)

We learned more about the concept of intercessory prayer this week and got the chance to practice it out. I heard/saw nothing from God while other people had visions/songs/actions for whichever person in the class they got. Fail.

There was a presentation about North Korea missions and it was really interesting and definitely challenging. I’ll leave it at that.

Ironman competition was today. It was so hot today. Cheering for the runners/bikers/swimmers was cool though. I have so much respect for them. However, you feel bad as well for them because some of them dedicate their whole lives for it or at least a good chunk of their lives to it with so much training involved and it’s just sad to see some people who don’t make the times for certain sections of the race and are disqualified. =( They look so shattered. I just wish I could tell them it’s not that big of a deal! It’s a race. And okay so you win the title, the fame, maybe some money, and maybe a car. But you should keep your head up high because these runners already made it this far out of the many many others that did not make the times to even compete for Ironman. Plus the real race is one where the crown, the title, the importance will never fade.

Time to get off my friend’s laptop. Wish I had a Mac. This thing is marvelous.

Aloha from Kona, Hawaii! I am having a lot of fun here. It’s like a long retreat with people from all nations here at one place and just loving God and wanting more of his presence. Honestly I was quite homesick today and missed people but it’s only been a few days! Each day is just sooo unscheduled and there is soo much free time this first weekend that I like don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve never had this much time in a while and there is no internet/tv to distract me! AH! It has been hard to revert back to the old ways to “have fun.” hahah I really like the 7 other girls in my room. We fit together quite nicely and they’re funny and comfortable to be around.

Anyways, so here are some of my random thoughts that I jotted down while here. I was walking around campus one afternoon and I just saw so many students outside doing their own thing and one kid was sitting in a gazebo and doing his quiet time. It just looked so relaxing and peaceful and just CHILL. It was so awesome. Then I just imagined myself like being at a version of Hogwarts, surrounded by other fellow students that are just like me, a little different from other people in the world because we believe in Christ. It’s such a cooool feeling. And then another aspect is that you learn the different gifts God has given people on campus and it again just reminds me of the Harry Potter series of people and their wands except in real life the power is through God/Christ. I’ve found so many similes and it has made just being a Christian so much cooler and it has helped me to understand some of the different gifts such as speaking in tongues, which really sorta freaked me out the first time I heard it. But the part in Harry Potter about how only some people can speak in the tongue helped me relate, except that this is a gift from God and is tapped into through the presence of the Holy Spirit. Additionally, just getting to DTS and the different focuses reminded me of the different groupings in Harry Potter (Griffindor, etc. etc.) cuz I was originally in Community Transformation DTS but then one of the leaders at Kona thought I might be a better in the Asia Pacific DTS, so I ended up moving to it. Later on today I read an email from Ms. Helen and she said that before I had left she also had a feeling that Asia Pacific would be a better fit for me and wanted to email me about it but never got the chance. So when she read my email update, she was really encouraged that God had placed me there and all the pieces seemed to align! Reminds me of the Sorting Hat, yeah? Hehehe I like tying it in with the supernatural yet fictional world of Harry Potter cuz it gives all that God is doing a COOL factor to it, but I also know God and all He does and is, is bigger than anything Harry Potter could create. But still. You know what I’m getting at. There are many awesome metaphorical comparisons. =)

Anyway, I leave you with some pictures I took this pack weekend:

 

Beach we went to yesterday. Color of the water is beautiful. Simply amazing.

Is this license plate not the funnest ever? Prettyyyy

Oopsies sideways pic. Too lazy to fix it. But scandanavian ice that I could not finish. Huge small portion for only $2.75.

Watched a sunset today on campus. It was gorgeous.

 If anyone wants to write to me (*wink wink*), here’s my address:

Alice Tsai/Asia Pacific DTS
University of the Nations
75-5851 Kuakini Hwy. #432
Kailua Kona, HI 96740

Miss everyone. <3 I like emails too. Did I emphasize my homesickness enough? hahaha

Can I just say that ever since the events that transpired around Labor Day, my life has been unfolding as if it were my birthday every single day. I don’t know how much more awesome it can get than this. I see God’s love through people’s support and prayers for me.  It’s a great feeling. I guess I’ll just have to wait patiently until Kona & outreach begins! But until then, I just know it is the most wonderful and most blessed feeling ever! It’s like living a little piece of heaven. God definitely showers his blessings and love on you when you can obey Him, speak for Him with courage, and trust in Him. I’m just so at awe with how everything is unfolding so delicately easy and producing just this magnificent beauty and comfort.

If only it could stay this way forever.

I’m still alive.

Lots of things to write about but simply no time. I’ve been trying to wrap up things to get ready for DTS and support letters most of my nights, but soon, I will have a real update.

It is truly when I am so helpless and shed of the independent cloak I securely held around me that God definitely shows how much His hand is simply in EVERY aspect of my life. It has been kind of crazy. However, He has shown to knit things together so perfectly in the big things as well as the minor details.

I move out of my house tomorrow. Needless to say that conversation has not improved.

How do I pack my life into my car? Good thing I have done no shopping for a long time.

*Weak smile*

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Utmost is kinda creepy. It provides the necessary encouragement whenever I seek it. Awesome. is. God.

Sept. 6th 2009

The Far-Reaching Rivers of Life

He who believes in Me . . . out of his heart will flow rivers of living water —John 7:38

A river reaches places which its source never knows. And Jesus said that, if we have received His fullness, “rivers of living water” will flow out of us, reaching in blessing even “to the end of the earth” (Acts 1:8 ) regardless of how small the visible effects of our lives may appear to be. We have nothing to do with the outflow— “This is the work of God, that you believe. . .” ( John 6:29 ). God rarely allows a person to see how great a blessing he is to others.

A river is victoriously persistent, overcoming all barriers. For a while it goes steadily on its course, but then comes to an obstacle. And for a while it is blocked, yet it soon makes a pathway around the obstacle. Or a river will drop out of sight for miles, only later to emerge again even broader and greater than ever. Do you see God using the lives of others, but an obstacle has come into your life and you do not seem to be of any use to God? Then keep paying attention to the Source, and God will either take you around the obstacle or remove it. The river of the Spirit of God overcomes all obstacles. Never focus your eyes on the obstacle or the difficulty. The obstacle will be a matter of total indifference to the river that will flow steadily through you if you will simply remember to stay focused on the Source. Never allow anything to come between you and Jesus Christ— not emotion nor experience— nothing must keep you from the one great sovereign Source.

Think of the healing and far-reaching rivers developing and nourishing themselves in our souls! God has been opening up wonderful truths to our minds, and every point He has opened up is another indication of the wider power of the river that He will flow through us. If you believe in Jesus, you will find that God has developed and nourished in you mighty, rushing rivers of blessing for others.

I got home from dinner, open my email, and it was on the top of my inbox!!!

I got into DTS!!!

Ecstatic. So I won’t break it to my mom because it’s her birthday today. I won’t break it to her tomorrow because we are celebrating tomorrow. I will tell her Sunday. Pray that things go well! x|

I keep waiting and hear nothing. It is making me very nervous and I am starting to second-guess all of my decisions about it. It won’t be the end of the world if DTS doesn’t work out, but I can’t help thinking a bit of pride will have been shot. Was it worth going through all this trouble? The anxiety? The tears? The scrambling to schedule appointments and get the forms in? What wasted effort, is a thought I can’t help having. But there is a lesson in all of this and God continues to humble and teach.

Today’s Utmost, another awesome revelation for application:

Jesus did not say, “He who believes in Me will realize all the blessings of the fullness of God,” but, in essence, “He who believes in Me will have everything he receives escape out of him.” Our Lord’s teaching was always anti-self-realization. His purpose is not the development of a person— His purpose is to make a person exactly like Himself, and the Son of God is characterized by self-expenditure. If we believe in Jesus, it is not what we gain but what He pours through us that really counts. God’s purpose is not simply to make us beautiful, plump grapes, but to make us grapes so that He may squeeze the sweetness out of us. Our spiritual life cannot be measured by success as the world measures it, but only by what God pours through us— and we cannot measure that at all.

When Mary of Bethany “broke the flask . . . of very costly oil . . . and poured it on [Jesus’] head,” it was an act for which no one else saw any special occasion; in fact, “. . . there were some who . . . said, ’Why was this fragrant oil wasted?’ ” (Mark 14:3-4 ). But Jesus commended Mary for her extravagant act of devotion, and said, “. . . wherever this gospel is preached . . . what this woman has done will also be told as a memorial to her” ( Mark 14:9 ). Our Lord is filled with overflowing joy whenever He sees any of us doing what Mary did— not being bound by a particular set of rules, but being totally surrendered to Him. God poured out the life of His Son “that the world through Him might be saved” ( John 3:17 ). Are we prepared to pour out our lives for Him?

“He who believes in Me . . . out of his heart will flow rivers of living water”— and hundreds of other lives will be continually refreshed. Now is the time for us to break “the flask” of our lives, to stop seeking our own satisfaction, and to pour out our lives before Him. Our Lord is asking who of us will do it for Him?

I think the reason I want to go to DTS has lately been overshadowed by this desire to be amazed and bask in the presence of God, instead of seeing and acknowledging the greater purpose of DTS. In the beginning, my heart was at a better place about this but as the weeks drag on and I grow anxious waiting for a decision from Kona and hearing more wonderful stories from people that have gone, I see what this desire has become. It has become a place of respite (not that it shouldn’t). It has become a place for escape (not that it couldn’t). But it has become a trip for me to find pleasure and adventure, when it was the whole time, truly to be an experience to know more of God and allow Him to pour more of himself in me–understanding how to channel that, a place for learning how to hear Him, and an opportunity to be His hands and feet. Somehow through the process I had misaligned my priorities and flesh overpowered the spirit. When will I be completely surrendered to him and allow Him to use me, instead of me using Him? “To stop seeking our own satisfaction” is right.

Time to pray.

Got an email! Full application was received. It’ll take another 5-7 days until I know! Eek….! (What do I do about my job?!? Tell them? Wait? Tell them? Ah! It’ll be less than 2 weeks notice by then!)