Sometimes it feels like the PACE God is moving things is intensifying. However, God is stretching us so that we can continue to run at this greater pace to be ready for what’s to come.
The spiritual battle is going on all the time but I don’t even think I realize it half the time. Especially while in America. Perhaps I’ve fallen under it that I don’t realize what I’ve fallen under. And it’s a shame. Once I let myself “go” and relax in the sense of not being “alert and self-controlled” in my heart posture, (not to say we don’t find REST in God’s presence), I start to feel my heart being guided back to subtle old ways.
But I stand in the place of victory and not seeking to obtain the victory because of Christ Jesus. And so interesting the mystery of Christ. I know but a grain of sand amidst a shore of sand grains of who God is. But even what I think I know, He blows to smithereens all the time. And it’s those times of blowing my understanding of Him into smithereens that are the most humbling and at the same time the most freeing moments.
These days I’ve been wrestling away from the “striving” of my heart back to “resting” in God’s presence continually. And what I am beginning to ask myself all the time is, do I feel like I “have to” do this, or do I “want to” do this because I love the Lord?
And it has made all the difference! I’ve heard this over and over and it’s nothing new under the sun, but with the amount of things on my plate it seems these days, I have to be back at this basic once again. Something God takes me through until I have it down pat. Even if I have something I “have to” do, such as a meeting or a small group, if God is not telling me do go, it becomes a like I “have to” versus, does God “want me to?” Once I start living this heart condition out in everything I do, the freedom of Christ is realized in my life. Nothing is burdensome anymore.
When I “have to” it becomes religion. When I “want to” because God “wants me to,” it becomes relationship with Jesus. And it’s not about emotions either because I don’t “want to” do a lot of things. I don’t “want to” love sometimes. But I “want to” please the Father and when He “wants me” to do something, even if I don’t feel like doing it, I will do it because I want to. I am talking in circles.
Sorry, I’m making something simple sound complicated. Makes sense in my mind tho!
